a hundred and eighty days



until you have sacrificed
don't judge those who are
sacrificing on the

daily

until you've risked everything you have
for someone else
someone you may not even

know

don't underestimate the

compassion

of those who feel like they haven't really

lived

until they've found something worth
risking their lives for.

Until you have felt

hollow 

inside
for one hundred and eighty days in a row,

until you've cried at night
or in the shower
or in the dark
or in the car for

a hundred and eighty days in a row

or longer.

until you've dreamed that he was coming home
only to wake up to a seven

thousand

mile gap between you

Until you have experienced the distance
and the ache in your chest where half your heart is

missing

Until you have experienced the worry
and the thousands of plaguing thoughts about
everything
that could possibly go wrong

Until you have voluntarily laid your own life down
to the greater calling of service to another,
to a purpose so much larger than yourself,

Until you have been afraid of what all of that could imply,

Until you have had to stand in an airport terminal
and say goodbye
and actually

let go

Until you have left your life and your loves behind
to instead devote yourself to the protection of a

nation,

of me, you, the person next to you,

Until the closest you can get is just a letter he touched,
Until the sweetest sound in the world is

his voice 

broken up over a bad Skype connection,

Until you have felt the courage to go,
or the dedication it takes to stay,
or the rivers of strength it takes to wait,
to cry,
to look for words but find none beyond 'i miss you',
to keep going,
to keep pushing on,
to keep persevering

Until you have felt that pain,
but at the same time that enormous amount of pride,

maybe those in our country who make no sacrifices themselves,
shouldn't be passing judgement
on those who are making those sacrifices

on those who are serving and protecting our right
to judge,
to belittle,
to bash,
and to misunderstand.

maybe there should be slightly less awareness for things that matter so little,
and more awareness and

respect

for the fact that there are souls who fight to give me the freedom to even be able to

write this,

and for you to

read it.

maybe
someone who has fallen fighting for this,
for us,
for now,
for the future,

should trend higher than
a comment a celebrity made on twitter.

maybe
we should talk about this more

talk about
them
more.

Maybe
it's true

that you haven't, in fact, truly lived,
until you've found something

worth 

fighting for





poetry (of sorts) because my heart is heavy about the way things are and the fact that celebrities and meaningless hashtags are trending over the SEAL that was killed in action recently. and also because i miss someone who is currently feeling so far away (but i'm so so proud of him). 

lOVE,
kATE


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32 people commented on this post.

  1. my heart *aches* with the truth of this. thank you. thank him.

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  2. Oh my goodness, my heart is aching over this. The amount of truth in this is overwhelming, as is the beauty with which you write. Thank you, Kate. And thank you to him, too. <3

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    1. your comment lifted my heart, Grace Anne. Thank you <3

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  3. woah. this really stabbed my heart.
    Thank you for this <3 and thank you to Him. anyone who goes forward to serve their country is a hero.

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    1. I couldn't agree more, Hannah. Thank you so much <3

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  4. omw....this is so powerful and true

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  5. wow this is so true, and the way you write is just making my heart ache. this is so beautiful. thank you for writing this <3

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    1. thank you so much, Autumn <3 that means so much

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  6. Wow! Your writing is so beautiful!

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    1. thanks so much, Emma! I appreciate it :)

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    2. But really thanks to you and God bless you.

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  7. Wow. This is beautiful but seriously heart-wrenching. I can't imagine how you feel. I can a little, haha, but not like this. Ouch.

    I love you. <3

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    1. :''') i love you too, Aaliyah! Thank you so, so much, dude. <3

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  8. It is heartbreaking to see the people that society puts on pedestals vs. the people who have actually earned so much respect and deserve to be recognized.

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    1. ugh man, i couldn't agree with you more, Laura. it's sad and i want to see it change <3

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  9. Oh my goodness, Katie. This is so powerful and beautiful. <33

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  10. This is so beautiful. I just can't even. <3 <3

    Sophie

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  11. Oh my. we all need, need, need this reminder because it's true- unless it's personal to us we don't care, but we need to learn to care. thanks xx

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    1. RIGHT. You're right on there, Nina. And thank you. Really, the encouraging words mean a lot. <3

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  12. Oh, my heart. Beautiful, beautiful words, Katie.
    http://hannahofthefield.blogspot.com/
    xo, Han

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  13. this so good and dear to my heart, how these words sing to me. gosh i love this

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    1. Thank you so much, Elizabeth. <3 grateful for your brother's service

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  14. This is so powerful! I have a feeling he is just as proud of you, as you are of him. <3

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    1. Oh man, you're making me wanna cry :') thank you so much, Hannah. That means SO much.

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  15. Kate. You're words are amazing. The amount of love and respect in this post has got me like. woah. Keep it up.

    <3 Katrina

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    1. i read this comment a while ago and it made my day, and it still makes my day, Katrina <3

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