limping too




clean this up
change this part here,
make this part
make this part different


it's too messy
too much
too 


just clean it up a little


cut
cut
cut


change
tape
cut and paste


scissors doing their
scissoring job
while i take out the face paint
and draw on the smile that the
magazine told me
would look better on me than the shape my lips formed as they
made way for the
scream


"where am i in all of this noise?"


i may look better to you, i may sound better,
cleaner,
neater.
i may be carefully creased at the edges,
folded,
put away,
but my mind is gone,
my face,
where'd i put it?
i don't know where i am in all of this
tidy packaging
because i 
i was never meant to be boxed up i guess.
i liked it better messy,
i knew myself in messy,
and even when i let the scissors 
do their scissoring job
i'm still down here looking up, hearing footsteps on the ground above thinking


"i wanna be up there too"


because i'm not that tidy. 
i'm not folded,
and if the words flow better messy?
let them.
because hi
i am messy


i am incoherent sometimes
sometimes my face breaks out
sometimes i make no sense
sometimes i sit in front of empty pages like this one was and have no idea what i'm doing, and doubt myself and everything 


have
ever
done


everything i've 
ever made, 
everything 
i am.


they invited me to the party, but i hear they have a 
they have a dress code,

and i'm sorry but if that's the case?
if that's the case i guess i can't come 
because if i come, 
i do not come to the party with perfect skin and clothes,

i come wounded,
black,
blue,
limping. 

and i'm not gonna hide the place where the bullets found me
where the words,
the cut,
copy,
paste,
found me.


because underneath the noise
the bass,
the velvet words,
the flawlessness?


they're all limping too.






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41 people commented on this post.

  1. whoa. this is so powerful and important. love the format too! and the picture is stunning!

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    Replies
    1. agree, like, subscribe, everything. wow.

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    2. wowowowo owww you guys <3 thank you thank you thank you xoxo

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  2. ..wow. Not even kidding, I have read this four times. It's so insanely powerful.
    "because underneath the noise
    the bass,
    the velvet words,
    the flawlessness?


    they're all limping too."

    I feel like that's so easy to forget. I know that it is for me.

    Honestly I just want to take everything that you write and spray paint it all over a wall in the middle of a big city for the everyone to see. It would make the world a better place.

    lovelovelovelovelove

    p.s. you're stunning um wow

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. omggg wibiwegf aaaaahhh GRACE ANNE THANK YOU. YOU ARE AMAZING ALRIGHT.

      it is really easy to forget... i totally feel you on that one. it can be so hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes and realize that wow, they're actually going through the same thing too. but it's so comforting when we realize that.

      your sweet words mean sosososo much girl :')

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    2. um also like whenever i reread this and the part about wanting to spray paint this on a wall in a city?? like...crying... <3

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    3. omg you guys want to make me cry :''') i am convinced that is your goal omg :') :')

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  3. I like the formatting, it is very modern poets. It reads really well, I like how it is a pros poem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. gotta say, i had a bit of fun with the formatting on this one. thanks, girl!

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  4. what are words.....................
    this is BEAUTIFUL like gahhhhhhhhh

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  5. THAT LAST SENTENCE HIT ME SO HARD. WOW XOXOX

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  6. i legit never have words after reading your words ALLKDFJALKFJMALWECKM XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX danGGGGGGGGGG

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i never have words after your words about my words :') ily man

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  7. I'm just gonna be laconic here.... Wow.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is actually perfection and I can't handle it???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. u r actually perfect and i can't handle it???

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  9. WHAT ARE YOU DOING???????????

    you're breaking the status quo and breaking the norm (if there ever was such a thing) of blogging and its amazing and I love it and just WHAT
    because your posts kill me every time until i'm speechless and I just have no idea what to say because it covers so much and hit me so hard that just
    yeah.
    thanks.
    Randy Abby

    WAKE ME UP Blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. your comment made my life basically. ♥

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  10. *just speechless*

    https://lightuptheshiningnightstars.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Wow. This hit me.

    Thank you a million times, Katie. ♥♥

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  12. Wow, wow, WOW(!) this was powerful. Like a punch in the gut that was very much needed. This line echoed in my mind, reverberating:

    "where am i in all of this noise?"

    I've been wondering the same thing. And my word, I come to the party being pushed in a wheelchair, both legs gone. Beautiful words that I needed to hear. This was poetry.

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    Replies
    1. ohhh my goodness thank you Erin....honestly just wow everything you said means so much to me ♥ we're stronger than than the noise, loud as the noise may be. we are lou d e r

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  13. All of it. Just all of it. 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

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  14. Hey Kate! I nominated you for the Ultimate Writer Tag on my blog, Spreading My Joy here: https://spreadingmyjoy.blogspot.com/2016/09/the-ultimate-writer-tag.html

    With love and all joy,
    Allie D.
    www.alliesblogdesigns.blogspot.com
    www.friendlovesatalltimes.blogspot.com
    www.sincerelyallied.blogspot.com
    www.spreadingmyjoy.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ohhh thank you so much ♥ i will head over to check it out!

      Delete

comments are like dark chocolate and they make this kid way happy. I love hearing from you guys! (check back because I reply...and I love checking out your blogs, so don't leave me without a link to yours!) ♥