early world


i fumble words early in the morning, because I don't sleep at night. When I doze off, suddenly there's a soft, pretty hand that talks to me in my mom's voice, and laughs, and says mmm wake up, sweetheart. so I don't talk well. I don't think in regular ways. I think just how it looks when a hurricane hits, and I push back the bad dreams with my bad hair and I try to make my legs work while I'm falling down.

there's something about early, and bad diner coffee across a green-tinted table from faces that make your heart hum. there's something about driving places early, and the way the trees whip themselves around that makes me think about someone I miss, and someone who lives too far away. And my heart is saying oww, ow, oww, owww in  the backseat, and I pacify it with one earbud in at the left. With the right I hear my dad tell my mom he wants to make pizza. I hear my mom talk about tomatoes and sauce and then yawn really pretty, and dad asks her something and she replies and the engine murmurs in its usual way.

i pull my hat down over my ears.

The trees keep melting against my window, then washing away like rain. My sister curled her hair today, and she's looking away out the window over there.

There's something about all of it-- the coffee, the trees, the missing someone, the talking... I mean, I get to have a hand shake my shoulder every morning. I get to hear someone tell me to get up. I get to do all this. I get to ride in the backseat and listen, I get to miss someone. I get to do this today.

my heart is blown away by the tiny things that are actually the big things-- that are actually my world.





lOVE,
kATE

So how was your sunday, loves? I want to hear about it.





RELATED POSTS

27 people commented on this post.

  1. Gosh, Kate, this is just so lovely <3 what a lovely feeling you've captured here. Almost like nostalgia, but over things that are right here, right now.

    My Sunday was spent hiking a bit with Susan! And whining because I didn't see any deer XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. eeeeeeee, THANK YOU, ASHLYN <3 means so much. ALSO I WOULD WHINE TOO IF I SAW NO DEER XD I hope you guys had an awesome time!

      Delete
  2. that's my girl.

    today was great, but intensely lonely. my people were so close. and yet everyone has to go home sometime. i guess i wish that home was with me. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I FEEL. Like why do people have to leave?? I feel like a little kid sometimes because I just want to hug everyone and keep them. <3

      Delete
  3. YOUR WRITING = CGI KINGDOM.

    like whoa <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YOU = CGI UNIVERSE <3 you are a virtual reality theme park.

      Delete
  4. excuse me i can't talk to you i'm still focused on trying to breathe after reading this gAH

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. my sunday was being reminded of truth and what it means to look to Jesus and have a God who fights for us. and it was faded conversations with friends after too long apart and a ten minute nap and parking lot talks after church in the cool evening air.
      let me just reiterate that i cannot express to you how much i love this post

      Delete
    2. ohmigoodness, thank you, Olivia :') that means soo much to me. Also, that sounds like a beautiful, full, glorious sunday. Stuff of dreams.

      Delete
  5. So lovely. So, so lovely.

    My Sunday was a little rough. I'm kind of scared to read the poem I wrote. XD But it was rough in the sort of way that it needs to be because I need to let God come in closer and it hurts, but it is good. God is good and I am still breathing and there is grace and hope and truth and joy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *huugs* we all have those rough ones. You're an everest, Hannah and God is leading you in an amazing dance. Your words mean SO MUUCHH <3

      Delete
  6. i am speechless. this is incredible. so simple, and yet so very vivid.

    ReplyDelete
  7. awww....really love this so much <3 the littlest things are definitely the big things.

    my sunday was filled with thinking, lots of thinking about life, and delving deeper into the Bible. looking through old pictures, watching the sky, bumping old volleyballs around, and little things like that <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES. yes, yes, yes yes so agree. Looking through old pictures on a sunday afternoon, man. Golden.

      Delete
  8. I love the disjointed, surreal, tangible, content, and thankful vibe in this post. One of my friends always corrects people when they say they 'need to' or 'have to' do something that they're not excited about... he says, 'no, you GET to do that thing. PerSPECtive.' And this post reminded me strongly of him. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. gaaaahh, Oliviaaaa, thank you so much! And your friend is wise. I have been thinking about that quite a lot lately; attitude of gratitude-- especially in work and learning to appreciate it because hey, how cool is it that you get to wake up every morning and do something?? :)

      Delete
  9. Oh my gosh, Katie. Your writing constantly leaves me in awe. "my heart is blown away by the tiny things that are actually the big things-- that are actually my world." Like, that's been my life recently. The majority of my friends are graduating next week, and I just keep thinking about how it's not the big giant things that I'll miss, but the little things. And when you think about it that way, the little things really are the big things. They really are my world. So thank you, for putting my thoughts into gorgeous words.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AWWW, GRACE <3 that means so much to me, girl, thank you. And isn't it amazing how events like that can really make you think about how much all the hundreds of little things mean? That's always gotten me. It's amazing the things that can really put a spotlight on that.

      Delete
  10. You always get to have these feelings. There's nothing wrong with having them.

    -M
    The Life of Little Me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. very true-- it's a refreshing way to look out and see life.

      Delete
  11. THIS IS ACTUALLY MY LIFE OKAY.

    and holy crap you portray it so well my heart is bursting with how beautiful and relateable this is i love you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. jklsfhtlh YOUR COMMMMENT MADE MY DAY OVER HERE, ALRIGHT. LOVE YOU TOO, GIRL

      Delete
  12. K A T I E. i think there's tears on my face an d i also think i lost mhy heart somewhere anD MY HANDS DON'T WORK CAJIWLIADFOHA bc this???? this beauty???? ouch. i know this so deep that it hurts. i miss people so much. i love recklessly.

    and we get hurt. our knees get scraped. hearts get broken.

    but girl, there is so much...beauty? and purpose? in it. these are the things that make us. these little things that are actually big. OUCH.

    (i'd tell you about my sunday, but i can't quite remember it. i got home from a trip that day...and then did things i can't recall XD)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. girlgirlgirllllll ahhhiuifne <3 CALLY. YES. so much yes, and I so get you, and somehow I feel like its so often the little things that make up our days that make us think about the people we miss the most, because they are in those things. Like trees and rain and talking.

      And is it just me or like getting home from a trip makes the rest of the day a blur and afterwards you're like what even was that? XD Hope you had a lovely trip!

      Delete

comments are like dark chocolate and they make this kid way happy. I love hearing from you guys! (check back because I reply...and I love checking out your blogs, so don't leave me without a link to yours!) ♥