A number of years ago I went to a museum and watched a man demonstrate how to use an old iron printing press from the 1700s.
He printed out a simple poster and gave copies to each peep in the audience watching him like moon-blinked owls.
The poster said this- in big, cool ol' Edwardian fonts:

let it
till your
is better
and your

I live by this rule.
And I always- always, always skate by this rule.

When you go to an ice rink, how many figure skaters do you see, usually? Like, really good figure skaters?

Not many, am I right?

That's because there isn't many.

Now, I'm not about to make figure skating sound like it's as hard as becoming a Navy Seal or something, but honestly? It's hard. And it hurts.

I can't even remember how many times I've fallen down.

100 at least. Give or take a few. Most likely give.

I don't fall much any more- at least not all the time.

But I do have a few really good ice horror stories. My worst wipe outs of all time.

My sister and I find it amusing to swap battle scar stories, you know? Worst wipe outs on our body boards or on ice, you name it.
Both can be amusing and both can gather awe-struck slightly grossed-out "OH MAN"s and "DUUUDE, YOU'RE KIDDING ME"s from the unsuspecting listener.

Then you get to nod all proud like you just won the lottery.

So. Worst wipe out ever. Hmm.

I'm a lake skater, so I've gotten my fair share of  more than my fair share of bruises.

There was this one time, right. I'm skating with Melly and our brother's just standing around watching us.
Long story short, I eventually get bored with just skating around in circles and announce that we should have a race.

Stories like these never seem to end well, do they?

Mel will skate around the rink's perimeter and Max will clock her time, then I'll go do the same thing and we'll see who's the fastest.
You should probably know that I like love going fast. It's my all time favorite thing about figure skating. The radical speed.

So Abbie takes off. And Max clocks her. Verbally. Sloppily and loudly pronounced "onnee....twooo.....threeee...."s.

I can't remember how long it took her, but I'll never forget my turn.

I picked up a ton of speed- crouching like a speed skater and stroking super hard. And I was doing pretty good.
Until I hit the lake skater's worst nightmare. (Well, second worst to falling through the ice.)
Like, a quarter of an inch thick one.

It's sucked my blade into it like one would suck air into ones lungs.

And bam. Flat on my stomach. Bashing my knees. Momentum shoving the air out of my lungs.

Twas not pretty.

That was the worst.

My knees wielded two huge, shiny bruises of quite a while from that one.

Second worst wipe out was at the arena.

I'd already skated for over an hour, for sure. No doubts.

I'd taken my jacket off because I was hot, so my tee shirt left me with totally exposed elbows and arms. Never a good thing on ice.

I decided to practice my catch foot spiral. This is a move in which, if you've not already seen someone do it, said skater glides on one skate, then brings the other one up behind her and grabs the blade with her hand. The goal is to get the skate at high as possible behind the head.

So I'm skating around, doing this, getting it higher and higher up to the back of my head like all the glorious professionals do it. Cheering myself on a bit in my head.

But then I started leaning a little to far forward on my ice blade.

It tipped forward.
Caught into the ice with a soft crunch.
Time stood still.
And I fell FLAT on my face.

My whole kneecap was black and blue the next day. As was my elbow.
And it was a little painful to walk at first.

It was nasty. To say the very least.

But I got back up and kept skating.

And then there was yesterday.

Yesterday, yesterday. It was pretty cruddy.
I'm still recovering from yesterday.
As always, I fell simply skating forward, practicing edges. Wowww.

I'd only been out there for five seconds, then - boom. Tripped over a frozen lump of shaved ice left behind by the sloppy Zamboni job.
Two bruised knees. Bruised elbow. Sore all over.

It put me in a sour mood, obviously. And, though I hate to admit it, I just sat in the emptied out warm room and cried and felt sorry for myself for a good while.

But I went back out eventually after Momma suggested it and stroked around.

Because no matter how many times you fall- or how hard -you always get back up again.

...I hope this post hasn't discouraged you from trying figure skating! Haha! It's really an amazing sport. It's worth the occasional bruise. Knight's honor.

There's nothing like flying around the rink listening to Owl City, Benjamin Dunn & the Animal Orchestra, Men Who Built America soundtrack, etc.

So if you actually read all this? Wow. You're hardcore. Thanks for listening to this figure skater ramble on about ice scars.

But as awesome Robert Schuller would say, "Turn your scars into stars!"


Love you guys,

Ps. I watched The Taming of the Shrew the other night. The one that Elizabeth Taylor's in. It was a pretty crazy movie. You should watch it. Shakespeare was one insane dude.


  1. wow. You're hardcore! lol. I want to get good at Ice skating someday...I don't wanna be like a pro or anything, but it'd be fun to learn some tricks. lol. My brother used to be pretty good at figure skating. He took lessons for a while. :)
    <3 Hope you feel better soon. :P That sounds painful.

  2. Thanks, girl! Finally starting to feel a bit better. :-)
    YOU TOTALLY SHOULD! You'd probably love it! Yeah, I just do it for fun, but the tricks are sooo much fun to learn! & That is awesome that your brother did lessons!

  3. Aww! I am sorry that you wiped out! Not fun.

    I love taming of the shrew! Great movie!

    1. Thanks, Jonnigirl!! Yeah it was pretty lame, but thankfully I'm feeling better than I was yesterday.
      Yeah, isn't it though?! Such a cool movie! ^>^

  4. Ouch... my knees hurt just thinking about it. Since I've never skated, I think I could trip on flat ice. You're amazing! Just seeing that vlog... wow. Ice skating... ouch. :)

    1. Aww, thank you! Yeah it can be pretty tricky sometimes. :P But it's sooo fun anyways. <3 ^.^

  5. DUDE, remember how I got a bruise on my knee skating and then fell on the same knee the next week for Thanksgiving skate? I still have that lump. xD Feeling your pain.

    <3 Thanks for sharing that.

    1. Awww, MAN, really? Urg, prayers that that goes away for yah soon. Bruises as soo lousy. xD
      Baha, my pleasure. ^.^


comments are like dark chocolate and they make this kid way happy. I love hearing from you guys! (check back because I reply...and I love checking out your blogs, so don't leave me without a link to yours!) ♥